Each month a group of us get together for lunch and chatter in hopes of spreading a message of "we're here, we're queer, and we're just like everyone else"

Dining out for equality is a mix of LGBTQ and straight allies coming together at a local restaurant in hopes of spreading the message of equality. This month we will be Chinese food located at New China 900 Whitley Ave. Corcoran. Sunday February 26th 12:45.

Join us for companionship and lunch in Tulare at Farmer Boys at

1197 East Prosperity Ave, 559-687-9900

Visalia Pride Lions Club Offers Student Scholarships

With a goal of serving our community, the Visalia Pride Lions Club proudly announces the establishment of two scholarships of $500 each for graduating high school seniors or transferring community college students who are LGBT or were raised in an LGBT family.  Applicants must live in Tulare County, Hanford, or Lemoore.  The scholarship must be used at an accredited post-secondary institution including a college or university and trade school.  The student must have a minimum 3.0 GPA, worked to affect change for the LGBT community and be actively involved in community service. 

 Membership in a Gay-Straight Alliance or college Pride club will be considered, but is not required.The scholarship deadline is May 1st; the recipients will be notified by the end of May.  Presentation of the scholarships will be made during the VPLC’s anniversary luncheon in June.

For directions and the application, go HERE.

In response to the tragic loss of our beloved EricJames Borges;
Tulare Youth Services Bureau will be holding a support and grief counseling meeting
Friday, January 13 at 4:00pm

There will be both group and individual counseling services available to anyone within the community at no cost.

Counselors available:
Cheryl Lennon-Armas, LMFT and India D. Leal, LMFT 

The address is: 
Tulare Youth Services Bureau
327 South K Street
Tulare, CA 93274
559-688-2043

The following resources are available 24/7

The Trevor Lifeline: 866-488-7386
The National Suicide Prevetion Hotline:  800-273-8255

PFLAG Tulare and Kings Counties is a volunteer group of parents, family and friends of people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT). We welcome members of the GLBT community to our meetings and membership. We meet on the third Sunday of each month.

It's that time of year when I ask for your help. Gay Visalia is once again embarking upon our annual gathering of support for the 2011 Holiday Toy Drive benefiting kids in Tulare County foster care. This year there are currently 1800 kids in the system...an overwhelming and disturbing statistic. These kids may have to spend the holidays without their families, without reason to celebrate and maybe even without gifts to open. With your support, we can try to give these kids a reason to smile.

The Visalia Pride Lions Club is joining the efforts again this year, thanks fellow Lions! New this year to help is Gay Porterville. With the help and support of Melissa and all of Porterville, we can really make a bigger impact this holiday season. What we need from you is simple... If you are out shopping, simply pick up a toy for a boy or girl. The ages range from infant to 18. We like to concentrate more on gifts for ages 12-18 as they are the fewest received by the county. All items need to be new and unwrapped. You can contact me, Melissa (Gay Porterville) or the VPLC on the best way to get the toys to us. I, personally, would be happy to pick things up from you. We also will take cash donations and do the shopping for you, how easy is that?!

If you would like more information or want to buy for a specific child, you can do so by visiting the Tulare County HHSA's official toy drive WEBSITE. You can search by age, gender, etc. Print out their star and turn that in with your gift. It will go directly to the child you want. I just ask that all toys being donated through our outreach be turned into us so that we can show the amazing support from our community.

Thank you all so much for your support once again of this great opportunity to help bring joy and happiness to children who may not otherwise have a reason to celebrate. Let's get in the holiday spirit and make this our biggest collection ever!

If your group or organization would like to get involved and help us, please contact me for more information. The more help we have, the more help we do!

From Melissa: I would be more than happy to make house calls and pick up items/donations in the area as well just get in touch with one of us. Also, be sure to stay tuned for an upcoming event to help raise awareness, funds, and collect toys all in one evening of fun. Details coming soon.

The following article came to me from a Porterville resident. I was asked to share this story with you in hopes of shedding some light and possibly receive some advice from the community as to what the couple should do, if anything.

Vanessa Bazaldua and Heather Sisemore are embarking a new journey in their relationship. They are pregnant! While most of us in the community find this an exciting time for the couple we unfortunately still live in a society where this type of news is not as celebrated by everyone else.

Hey, Melissa,

I was wondering if you could do me a favor. Me and Vanessa had something crazy happen to us last night. And we want to get this out. Or want to know if we should get this out. We wrote a little article on it. So if you could read it and send advice. Greatly appreciated.

On Saturday November 12th at approximately 2300 hrs. My girlfriend and I (Vanessa) went to a Quinceñera, invited by her friend Gabriella Garcia, at the Kings County Fair Grounds. Currently being nine weeks pregnant I was feeling very nauseous, so I asked Heather to please accompany me to the bathroom. She joined me in a small stall to comfort me, rubbing my back and holding my belongings. After being in there for fifteen minutes maximum, Heather had suggested we go and get some food to see if it would ease my stomach. Before I could even move away from the toilet a security officer was knocking on the stall door. Heather being the closest answered to them telling her that we needed to exit, because I could not be in there, referring to me as a male. After Heather politely assured them that I was a female, she then proceeded to tell them that I was pregnant and not feeling well, also noticing that they had cleared out the entire bathroom. One of the officers then made the remark of "are u sure she is a girl?" Heather again made it clear that I was a female, pregnant, and she was my girlfriend simply taking care of me. Even then, they told her we couldn't be in the same stall, so they asked her to please wait outside. Heather then said she would not leave me alone, and asked if she could please stand outside the stall with the door open. They refused, and a guard then told me that there was nothing wrong with me so I had to leave. I was then very upset and offended, and in tears. As I exit the bathroom, a lady was commenting to a security guard, saying how gross we were. After hearing that, and seeing the guard didn't even hesitate but to agree, I told her I was a pregnant female with my girlfriend, trying to have privacy so that they wouldn't have to see me throw up. After going to the car, bewildered by what had happened and feeling very harassed. Heather went back to talk to the security guard, who she repeatedly told I was a female, and he still continued to call me a him or a boy, and told him that we felt very offended. He then said he was just trying to do his job, and said someone had reported to him that there were two boys in a stall for a long time, she then asked him why after making it very clear to him that I was a female he proceeded into kicking us out, he repeated with "I'm sorry, I was just doing my job." Heather then told him, that his job was to check and see what was going on, and after seeing it was two females, one of them being sick, to make it known that there was no boy in the restroom and that they could be at ease.

Now I understand that not everyone agrees to our lifestyle. Nor are we trying to push our lifestyle on anyone else. I understand that some may confuse me as a boy, by my short hair and my manner of dressing, but I don't mind reassuring people I am a female. Never have I felt as harassed as I did that night. As if I was a human with a deadly disease, that was very contagious. I know that I can't change what happened to me that night, but I want to make sure this is known, and make a difference, so when the day comes and it happens to someone else, they are treated differently, with dignity and respect.

The couple experienced great ignorance this past weekend. It is not fair that any member of our society should have anxiety upon entering a restroom for fear they will be ridiculed and questioned. I get so angry knowing this happens. It strikes a personal cord for me and just wish some people could expand their mind just a tiny bit.

Aside from the events that transpired for them this past weekend, both families of the couple are very open and happy about the pregnancy. The baby's due date is June 15, 2012 and the couple will be registering for domestic partnership in the near future. A big congratulations to the happy couple!!

There is now a Two-Spirit and Transgender group forming at the local PFLAG of Tulare & Kings counties monthly meeting. They will come together, discuss and support any gender variance. What a great, safe space to be able to meet and talk openly within a specific group. Family members and allies are also welcome to participate. Please contact Jacqueline McWalter - LMFT, at 559-788-1200 for more information.

The PFLAG meetings are held the third Sunday of every month at:

Family Healthcare Network Admin Building
305 E. Center Street

Located on the corner of Bridge and Center in Visalia

3:00pm – 5:00pm

http://www.pflag-tulare-kings.org/

There is a youth summit this Saturday in Visalia. It is open to all middle and high school students. There is also a special presentation for parents and friends of LGBTQ youth. The summit is FREE to attend. Want to make a difference in your school? Be sure to attend!

CHAP presentation by Ann Marie Wagstaff:
The Gay Rights Movement Comes of Age in the 70's

From the Stonewall Rebellion to the rise of Lesbian Feminism and the death of Harvey Milk -- in the seventies, the Gay Rights movement came of age. The lives of lesbians and gay men would never be the same.

Tomorrow October 18th from 11:45 am -12:30 pm located at the PC Theater

Cost is free

LifeGuard Workshop

On Thursday, October 20,2011 the College of the Sequoias "Pride Club" will be having a LifeGuard Workshop on behalf of the Trevor project. The link above can be used to request a workshop in your area if you like. Our workshop is open to anyone who would like to participate in this workshop. It will be held from 12pm noon to 1pm on Thursday on Campus in the Kern Building in room 729 B. It is also the room in which we have our weekly club meetings between the hours of 12pm-1pm every Thursday.

We welcome anyone who would like join the club or just be apart of this workshop. For more information in regards to this event or the club you can contact us at cosprideclub@hotmail.com, or vist us on facebook.com/cosprideclub or on twitter.com/cosprideclub. Hope to see you there !

PFLAG Tulare and Kings Counties is a volunteer group of parents, family and friends of people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT). We welcome members of the GLBT community to our meetings and membership. We meet on the third Sunday of each month.

This month's PFLAG meeting is just right around the corner. This month's featured guest will be Pam Whitely who is the Regional Director for PFLAG National in the Mid Pacific Region.

There will be a new installment to the monthly PFLAG meetings that will allow transgender people and their allies a support group. The facilitator for this group will be lead by Licensed Marriage Family Therapist Jacqueline McWalter. If you would like to contact Jacqueline prior to the meeting for more details she can be reached here at: jmcwalter@tularehhsa.org

Location:Family HealthCare Network
305 East Center Street (Corner of Bridge Street)
Visalia
(Use the courtyard entrance on Bridge. Pedestrian gate is in the alley.)

When: Sunday, October 16, 2011 from 3:00pm-5:00pm

PFLAG provides a safe and confidential space place to talk about sexual orientation and gender identity, and works to build a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.

There is no cost to attend, and membership is optional.

PFLAG Tulare and Kings Counties is a non-profit organization with 501(c)(3) status.

Bakersfield Pride will be held this weekend Saturday October 15th from 3:00pm-9:00pm

Stramler Park - 3805 Chester Avenue Bakersfield 93301

Gay Central Valley will have a booth there. If you are interested in helping out or volunteering with our booth contact us at melissa@gayporterville.com or 559-791-8699

Some of you may or may not know that I have recently taken on a new position with one of the prisons located here in the central valley. This being part of the reason I (Gay Porterville) have been so quiet lately and for that I apologize but am looking to get back on track and more active here pretty quickly.

Anyway, back to my initial posting…

I’ve have friends and family members who work within the prison systems and I’ve heard many different perspectives from them all. Unfortunately, none of the perspectives I had an opportunity to hear and brace myself for were none from a gay person’s perspective. I still went in with enthusiasm that this would still be a place of progressive office politics…It wasn’t until after I had been there a few weeks that I would realize how wrong I was!

For those of you who have met me you already know that I don’t exactly scream “LESBIAN IN THE HOUSE” in my appearance. I don’t attempt to hide it or dim down my gay. I am very proud of my sexuality just most people assume I am hetero and being that is my place of employment I don’t necessarily feel that my personal life has anything to do with work.

The department I work in is the center for control of infectious diseases so inmates will come to our office periodically to receive various vaccines for treatment and preventative measures. Some of the inmates that come in through our office are transgender and some are of a more effeminate nature. These two types of inmates/patients are usually what prompt the comments and remarks from those I share a small office with.

In a casual conversation with the head RN in my office she mentioned her mom lived in Palm Springs and how she doesn’t like going out there because of all the gay’s and their AIDS. A CNA in my office made remarks about a transgender inmate referring to her as a he-she, a grown man with tits, and while the CNA was making these remarks other person’s in the office jumped in with “that’s just wrong” and “girrrl, he’s just made he wasn’t born that way”.

Weeks went by and the comments never seemed to die down. It was a special focal point of ridicule when we would have a transgender person come through our doors for treatment. I understand these people are inmates and are probably in prison for a valid reason but they are still “family” and who doesn’t have that one family member who is always getting in trouble?? They are still people! I still felt offended! I began feeling stressed out. I felt uncomfortable in my work place. I saw each remark made in the office as another opportunity missed that I could’ve stood on my desk and screamed I was a lesbian. I felt angry with myself for allowing such stupidity get to me and frustrated that I didn’t have the courage to stand up for myself and the LGBTQ community.

It wasn’t until one morning they had me come into work at 3am that I decided I did not care what they thought of me. If I had to hear one more ignorant remark or saw one more correctional officer mocking a gay person as if it’s funny I was going to scream. I had already proven myself to be a valuable asset to their department and they have come to respect me as an individual. I came out! One person after the other I began explaining to them how their remarks are insensitive and are offensive to me because I am gay! I first approached the CNA who comes from Compton. I told her that transgender people are not “weird” and they are not he-she’s… the correct pronoun is her. At first she was confused as to why I would be so offended because she told me she has many gay friends and she doesn’t have a problem with them. I politely responded that from a person living in the central valley it is difficult to decipher whether her remarks were coming from a hostile place or not. I then explained to her that the central valley is not L.A. and we are constantly on guard here. Her response was that she didn’t realize that the area was like that for gay people and apologized.

My next feat was the head RN in my office. I was a little stressed out about this one because I had already casually mentioned things to her previously about my partner so I knew she had some idea but she still proceeded to make comments about the LGBTQ community…not to mention she is my make shift supervisor. I began by telling her more about me as a person. I told her how my relationship with a woman has very similar characteristics of my past relationships with men. I explained to her that we are just regular every day people and her comments are sometimes insensitive to me. Due to it being the craziest day ever at work she didn’t get a chance to respond. It wasn’t until the following Monday she told me that when she sees a gay couple she can’t help but think who’s catching and who’s pitching…she then said that it wasn’t until I told her that we encounter the same problems and fight about the same things as our heterosexual counterparts that she then realized how we are just like everyone else!

Yes! Small victories! It is very empowering to be seen and respected for the person I am in the work place. It is very liberating to know how I am setting an example for them as a strong and intelligent person of the LGBTQ community. The correctional officers are my next feat. Wish me luck!!